Aaron Gillespie

Motto: The Clock is Ticking Towards Summer

 

 > Usually when I write a column there is an inspiration which gets me going. Today’s muse is a list of “important things to do” that I found in my Sound Film notebook when preparing to study. I think I might have already had a few of these items on a previous top five… but not all of them. So check out my Top 12:

 

 > Okay, here’s an idea I just had for a game. You and an opponent each have a computer (laptop preferably) and are hooked on to the same speed internet connection… you start off at Wikipedia homepage (or anywhere you want really, wikipedia is just the easiest) and you think of a thing or person, say… Gandhi. Then you say “go” and you race to see who can find a picture of whatever your topic is first… without using the keyboard. You have to find a way to get from any article, to Gandhi… then, when one of you wins- you can pick out a new topic and start from the Gandhi page. It might be really stupid, it might be really dumb… but I think it could be fun if you were bored enough.

 > I want to live a more healthy lifestyle. So that, when I’m 28, I’ll still be able to go on American Gladiators and at least make it through the eliminator. Oh, and by the way, I watched American Gladiators yesterday. It’s on NBC on Mondays at 7 or 8 or something… I really recommend it.

 

 > Once again a semester went by where I bought books that “were required” for class and never even cracked them open. Next year, I’m only going to buy books that I’m sure I will use.

 > If you are bored, after reading the top 12 and the quote, go to Wikipedia’s homepage, try to find a picture of Jim Carrey without touching your keyboard. You’ve got 10 Minutes. Go.

 

Top 12: Things I plan to accomplish this summer

 

12. Study the Language of the Wookie

 

11. Give Stephen Spielberg my Autograph

 

10. Watch the Movie “Flubber”

 

9. Catch a Falling Star with a Baseball Mitt

 

8. Eat the Fruits of the Country Bala

 

7. Find Larry Bird and Jack Him Straight in the Face

 

6. Find the Cure for World Hunger, Get Really Drunk, and Forget the Cure for World Hunger

 

5. Find God (with a telescope)

 

4. Invent a New Flying Machine

 

 

3.  Instruct a Class of Chimpanzees to Ride a Unicycle

 

2. Spawn a New Race of Super Humans (learn how to clone myself)

 

1. Invade the Country of “Chad” and Force them to Change the Name to “Charles”

Quotes: - Note: I realized I can write quotes down on my phone… so hopefully I’ll do better with these

“ Did you say ‘alligator?’ cause alligators are mean, they will straight up kill you “
         - The Bus Driver -

 

Motto: Short and Sweet (the Christine Fraker special)

 

 > I’ve got two jobs now. I haven’t started either yet, but lets just say that if you want to get a movie and you are in Emporia, you’ll be dealing with me. Blockbuster, and the theatre. No I can’t let you see movies for free, because it’s not cool as an employee and I just don’t particularly like you. So eat shoot and die. Hopefully I can get 45 hours or so between the two.

 

 > I don’t’ really have much else to say, really. I attended another bigoted preaching festival on Wescoe beach today.

 > Every kiss begins with Kay. Other than smootches, pecks, and uh….. I don’t know.

 

 > I saw a stand-up comedian on Comedy Central yesterday who was sitting down during his routine. It was a oxymoron like no other.

 > I was really just looking to say that I got a job (or two) I don’t have any more “classes” until summer. But I’ve gotta take 3 finals and write a five page paper…. So I’m not done yet.

 

Top 5: Things I want to buy with all my cash that will roll in

 

5. A skateboard (I miss being in shape)

 

4. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (leather-bound)

 

 

3. “The Complete Far Side”

 

2. A TV that doesn’t suck.

 

1. I still want a PS3.

Quotes:

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Motto: If I ever leave this world alive…

 

 > I’m pissed because of Burlington’s Barnstormers tour game with the KU seniors. I’m not playing in it even though I really want to, when Nick and Lance are both playing in it when don’t really even want to. Burlington, WTF man. How about throwing your former home-away-from-home kid a bone?

 

 > Today on campus I stumbled across a couple of old guys who took it upon themselves to preach the teachings of God and Jesus our savior to all the college students. I see now how religious wars get started. When you can look at a group of people in the eyes and tell them they are all terrible people, sinners, will be going to hell, Jesus will kill you, a bunch of “Faggots and lesbians,” and tell them they are Satan, I guess I could see where you’d be radical enough to throw some punches. Luckily, the group sitting before them didn’t feel the need to resort to any form of physical violence, although it probably could have been justified if they did. I’m glad they didn’t, I really don’t understand how these guys could think they were doing ANYBODY any good. They didn’t make God or Christianity attractive, they threatened and called names and fouled their speeches up with all sorts of hypocritical bullshit such as telling a college student that he was “going to hell for judging (the preachy guy)” when, first off- that statement alone is a judgmental statement, and second off, calling a bunch of college age kids Masturbators isn’t being judgmental. If they ACTUALLY wanted to convert anybody to being Christian, they would have had to had a heart attack sent to them from God for being such shitty messengers. I’m not saying that I wished death upon them, because I honestly don’t; I just wish they could open their eyes to something other than what the Bible says word-for-word. I can tell you that I’ve explored my options when it comes to that, so I’m allowed to pick whatever I want to pick because I made an informed decision.

 > Court TV has changed their name to “tru TV” and their slogan is “not “reality,” ‘Actuality.’” I find that funny because no matter what you call it, it’s still dramatized for television audiences… and even if it wasn’t, it’s still TV. The only way that TV could approach “real” would be if they had a channel that showed you sitting there watching TV doing nothing on your couch. That’s actuality. I do believe TV has a point, but “Reality” or “Actuality” TV is not it.

 

 > Look at me, being all high and mighty college kid like I used to be. I should write something immature and surface level to save face.

 > I took a dump today. I at 6 pieces of pizza at the mandatory floor meeting while some people didn’t have any. I saw people there who I literally have never seen before, even though they have lived on my floor for the entire year. I

 

Top 5: Ultimate Superheros (going by fame)

 

5. Quailman

 

4. The X Men

 

 

3. Batman.

 

2. Spiderman.

 

1. Superman.

Quotes:

“ It’s Good, You Don’t have Much to Do Until You can Turn that In “
         - Carey Voeller, my poetry teacher (who has a PhD in English) about my paper which managed to find seriousness in both the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the band Nutsnack -