Aaron Gillespie

Motto: Green Apples are Way Better than Red Ones.

> Five Comments on My Last Update? I Like That. I Like That a Lot My Friends. Keep that Up and I Might Just Start Doing This Every-Other-Day Again. And Christine- Cuteness Doesn’t Describe Me Quite as Well as it Does You.

> Holy Spanking Span. Lebo High School has Finally Realized the Utmost Potential That Lies Deep Within It’s Loins. Who Knew Aaron Gillespie Could Write Columns Which Kicked So Much Ass? BRIAN HARP Did. Damn Straight. Today I Wrote Out of My First Draft of the Column for the School Newsletter that the Creative Writing Class is Putting Out. I’m Not Even in This Class, I Just Felt Like Doing it, for Fun.

> Joe Sliter has Been Dethroned as the King of Minesweeper. I Dare ANYBODY to Try to Beat My Best Times. Beginner- 5 Sec : Advanced- 67 Sec : Expert- 269 Seconds. Honestly, If You Beat the Beginner or the Expert Times I’ve Set Out- I’ll Give You a Mt. Dew.

> Kansas is Winning. Oh YES.

> Speaking of Kansas. TYREL REED has Made My Freaking Decision on College Really Easy. Well, Him Plus the Three Amigos That Offered Me a Part of Their Four Way Room (Which is Still Not 100% Set in Stone) Lance, Alex, and Nick. Us Four Would Make the Awesomest Quadro in Ellsworth History. And I’d Get to Go Watch Tyrel Play with the Big Boys Down There. Oh Yes Son. Oh Yes.

> Now is the Time I Set Aside for Every Column Where I Tell You Some Random Thing I’m Doing RIIIGHT Now. Today’s Random Thing- I’m Drinking Chocolate Milk.

> I Feel Like I Have this Huge Responsibility with Having a School Column Now. I Think It’s Going to Be Like South Park. They Started Off Always Being About the Funny. Then Not Before Too Long They Started Having Messages Behind Their Episodes. I Think I Might Have to Send Some Messages to Lebo High.

Top 5: Advantages of Having a School Column

5. I Get a LOT of New Readers
4. I Can Bitch About a WHOLE New Lot of Things

3. Now I Have Something to Do During Government
2. It Opens Up a New Facet of the Column
1.  It Adds Meaning to the Lebo High Expirence

True Quotes 4 Real:

” I’m a Force Field “
- Josh Weltha, After Deflecting Three of My Paper Balls -

” No One Wants to Crap Their Pants? “
- Sarah Mac -

” If You’re a Dickhead, Wouldn’t that Make You Less of a Dick? Cause You’re Just the Head and Not the Whole Dick ”
         - Nick Garrett -

” If You’re a Dickhead, You’re a Smart Dick “
- Lance Jones -

 

” They Have Their Ipods, They Don’t Need to Pay Attention ”
         - Mr. Torrence, After I Said I Didn’t Pay Attention to the Presidents When I Was a Kid -

” We Were Like ‘Hey, What’s That’ And You Don’t Need Any Better Excuse to Shoot Something “
- Josh Weltha –

 

” I Don’t Believe Something That Pointless Actually Exists ”
         - Mr. Torrence, About Golf -

” Have You Guys Experienced the Joy of the Cherry Bomb? “
- Mr. Torrence -

 

” They Weren’t Innocent, They Were Jewish ”
         - Cory Renbarger (is going to hell) after Somebody Said Hitler Killed Millions of Innocent People -

Motto: I Think Aaron Gillespie Should be More Popular.

> Basketball Started. THANK GOD FOR FRED ROLL. I Can Dunk It Easier Now than Ever Before. I Didn’t Die on Either of the Ladders. I Shot Pretty Decent. Nothing Terrible Has Happened so Far.

> There’s Been Word of a ‘Newsletter’ to be Distributed Throughout Lebo High School. Developed for the Students by the Students with Basically No Affiliation with the School, Kevin Allegre (the instigator of the whole thing) has Informed Me He’s Remotely Interested in My Services with Maybe Some Sort of a Column for It. I’m Undecided Currently as to If I Will Do It.

> This Dude on Deal or No Deal is the First Person Who I Actually Don’t Hate. Plus He’s Really Kicking Ass. It Makes The Show Worth Watching.

> Anyway, Basketball. Yeah. I’m Still Not too into the Whole Thing.

> I’m Currently Working On 30 Ounces of Chocolate Milk.

> Josh Weltha Had a Baby. A Small, Deadly Baby.

> Holy Shit, I Finished that Milk in Three Minutes. I Think I Might Die.

> There was Just a Bash on the Column. I Don’t Like Hearing Bashes on the Column. If You Thing It’s Boring, Then You Obviously Have an STD of Some Form.

> If Something is Exciting, I’m Simply Going to Yell ‘Factorial’ From Now On. The Math Kids Will Get That. Although It’s Not Funny. So, There’s Really Not Much to Get. Sometimes I’m an Idiot.

> I HAVE GOTTA PEE FACTORIAL!

> You Tube. New Videos. Oh Yes.

The Numbers:

34 – Down and Backs in Ladders We Ran Today

3 – Down and Backs in Punishment

1 – Number of Times I Saw Bryant Chase Brad Winn Out the Locker Room Threatening to Drool on Him

10.7 – The Average Life of Dogs (according to Teeter)

15 – The Average Life of Cats (according to Teeter)

75 – The Average Life of People (according to Teeter)

63 – the Average Life Span of Fatties (According to Something I Just Read)

29024901239210382103921 – How Overrated Smosh Is. (it’s spoken from the heart, so it doesn’t have to make sense)

Quotes:

” That Sounds Like a Rap Song- ‘Control, Alt, Delete!’ “
- Josh Weltha -

” You Might See a Boobie and the School Would Explode “
- Josh Weltha, About the Now Banned Google Image Searches on Lebo High Computers -

Motto: Anagrams Suck. An a Grams.

> ANAGRAM TIME FRIENDS!

Aaron Ross Gillespie – GiRls are seal poison (just true.)

Jonathan Thomas Sliter – man, The Janitor lost! (the janitor ran a race and didn’t finish first)

Robert Joseph Sliter – JoblesS Reporter hit! (I like it cause it sounds like a headline kinda, and it’s about a reporter… yeah)

Scott Logan Huttenmaier – meatier Hunts to cLog Stan (stan has a heart problem, meatier hunts can be used to cause cardiac arrest)

Jessica Leigh Menard – a sad chiMe re-JingLes (if a particular chime on some wind chimes made an incorrect note, and was disappointed with itself, and had to sound again)

> I got my senior pictures in today… gosh dang are they HOT!

I only like about 3 of them, Mom Likes all but Three of Them, and Dad Hates Everything in the World. (I Say that Because He Hasn’t Expressed an Opinion Yet)

> KU is beating the SPANK Out of Emporia State. That Makes Me SOOO HAPPY!

> Those Anagrams Were Hard.

> I’ve Really Been Ambiguous as Far as Moods Go. I Go from Happy to Sad and Back Again. Then Sometimes Depressed to Mad. I Don’t Know. I DO Know that Stuff Will Get Better. I’ve Got High Apple Pie in the Sky Hopes. You’ll See.

> I’m Tired. Goodnight

Top 5: Naw, No Top Five

5. Sorry
4. For

3.The
2. Shitty
1.  Top 5 (but I’m tired)

Quotes:

” I’m Such a Genius I have Everybody Fooled into Thinking I’m Not One “
- Clarence McIlvain -

” I Guess that Cord was Important, as Soon as I Unplugged it I Heard my Computer Say ‘Gah, You Dumb Faggot’ “
- Josh Weltha -

” My Name is Like Every Letter of the Alphabet, So if You Can’t Make Something You’re Retarded ”
         - Scott Huttenmaier, with the anagram thing… -