Aaron Gillespie

Motto: Beef Comes from Only One Type of Cows: Dead Cows

> Alright, Last Column Update of the Year Right Here. This is the 2006 Update De Finale.

> I’ve Got an Idea for a Short Video. But It’s Raining. So… I Can’t Film It. However I Did Film a Short Yesterday Back. Here it is My Friends.

> Yes, The New Year is Coming Up. I Don’t Know What I’ll be Doing for New Year’s Eve. I Know I have a Family Dealy Early in that Day. But I Don’t Know Exactly What the Plan is for After That. I Think that, as of Right Now, Josh Barker’s House is Looking Pretty Cool. That’s Been Sort of a Tradition on and Off in the Past Few Years. Later On Tonight I’m Going to Josh Weltha’s. We Haven’t Spoken in a While. I Think the Plan as of Now is to Spend the Night There and Undoubtedly Watch a Lot of TV, F Around with All His Cool Shit, and Talk about Guns and Girls for a Whole Night into the Wee Hours of the Morning. So I’m Looking Forward to That. Tomorrow Night I’ll be with Christine, No Matter Where We Decide to Go I’m Sure it Will Be a Groovy Ol’ Time.

> I’m Going to Make a Facebook of My Own. That Would be Cool. Mark Zuckerberg Eat Your Heart Out.

> And…. Lastly, I Just Filled One of My Blank T Shirts I Got for Christmas. It Says:

6’8”, I Played it In High School, and These are 15’s. Please Don’t Ask.

Many People Might Call Me “Smug” or “Conceited,” But I’d Probably Call Them “Ass” or “Shorty.”

Top 5: Slogans for Stuff (or at least the slogans they should have)

5. Slinkies – Awesome Fun for Both a Boy and a Girl, Until it Gets a Slight Tweak and Then it’s a Pain in the Ass
4. Toast – For when Sandwiches are Too Good for You

3. Arbor Day – Hey, Come Celebrate Arbor Day……. Or Not
2. Yellow – Making Men It’s Bitch Since Before Jesus

1. Air – “We’ve Got the Best Monopoly of All”

Quotes:

” I Think it was Gay “
- Jon Sliter, About a Dead Coyote, After Seeing It’s Butt -

” OH, Hoover’s, I Thought You Said Hooters “
- Jon Sliter, After I Told Him Where Christine Worked for the Second Time -

Motto: 364 Days Until Christmas!

> Christmas has Came and Past. The Line at the Customer Service Desk at Every Wal-Mart in the Northern Hemisphere has Been Filled While We Look on to New Years. Christmas Causes Feelings of Prolific Joy and Bliss, I Refer to the Joy and Bliss as “Prolific” Because the Feeling Tends to Spread. None-Too-Many Bahumbugs Have Been Heard Around Our Small Town This Year. The Only One to Speak of Came From the Dog. The Bountiful Prize He Won Last Year when He had Dad Unwrap His New Bone was Sadly Thousands of Times More Pleasing to Him than This Year’s Unwrapped Unboxed Air that We Got Him. Bark-Humbug.

> When Your Hands are Cold, it Severely Hinders Your Typing Abilities.

> I Could Bore Everybody By Specifically Listing Everything that I Unwrapped this Year- But I Think I’m Going to Remain Silent on That Account. Let’s Just Say- There is Plenty of New Material for Me to Work with On Either of My Cameras. Oh Yes. You’ll See Plenty of New Things in the Upcoming Filming Days. This Being the First Example (if you look on the first few frames you can see my old camera- meaning I used the new one)

> Yesterday I was Chowing Down on Some Chex-Mix When an Impossible Question Hit Me: Which is the Superior Cereal Product- Chex-Mix or Rice-Krispy’s Treats? That, My Friend, Is a Question for the Ages.

> Short and Sweet Baby, Short and Sweet.

Top 5: Movies that Should Have Had Nude Scenes

5. The Notebook – I’ve Never Seen it. But It Needs Something to Keep Guys Alive During the Movie
4. Backdoor Police – The MOST Misleading Title for Any Movie Ever

3. Space Jam – Locker Room Scene
2. Casablanca – Why Do You Think the House was “Blanca”

1. Grumpy Old Men – The “Let’s go Exploring Scene”/“No, Let’s STAY and Explore” Scene

Quotes:

” Yeah I Just Made Karma My Bitch! “
- Nick Garrett -

” The Moral of the Story is You Need to Pick Up More Dumbass Friends “
- Vickie Gillespie –

 

” Cruz is a Champion Farter “
- Amy Gillespie -

Motto: Christmas Time Gives the Flavor of Lemon-Lime – This Motto was Brought to You by Sprite: Obey Your Little Smartass Afro-Bearing Black Doll

> Alright, Column’s Up- Let’s Do This: LEEEROOOOY JENKINS!

> The School Column was Distributed for the First Time Since the Last Update. I Wasn’t Overly Disappointed by Anything on that Little Newsletter Dealy. I Wasn’t Impressed Either. I Can Definitely Tell that Some of the “Writers” in that Class are Completely Helpless and Were Probably Only Given a Section of It to be Fair to Everybody. Anyways, I WAS Censored as I Thought I’d Be. None of It Really Bothered Me- Other than the Closing Statement, Which was Changed from “Later Bitches,” to “That’s All for This Time Folks!!”

> Yet Still the Helicopter Game is a Big Thing as of Lately. The Three Leaders of the Game as Far as I Know Right Now Go Teeter, with 3481- Bryant, with 5341 or something close to that, and Myself with 5932. Yeah. You Know It. The Helicopter Game is the New Minesweeper. Speaking of Minesweeper, I’ve Lowered My Scores in that Too: Expert – 217, Intermediate – 54, and Beginner – 1

> Currently I’m Jamming it to Some Nutsnack. It’s Foo-Foo Friday, Need I Explain?

> I Lived Up to Half of My Goal for the Twice Annual Basketball Skills Decathlon that We Run Here in Lebo. I DID Succeed in Breaking the All Time High (Wooo!) But I Failed to Reach 250… Falling One Short of the Score. Later On Today I’ll Make This Sentence a Link to a Scan of the Record Sheet. So, the Good News is This- Even if I Don’t Make First Team All State Like Both My Sisters- I’ll Have Two Things Up on Them- This and My Ultra Cool All Osage City Tournament Team. EDITED LATER THAT DAY: I Found Out at Practice Today That There was an Addition Error Made While Arriving at My Score. I Did NOT Get 249, as I Mentioned, But, In Fact, I Got 251. Therefore Making Me Awesome.
> This Week We’ve Been Maxing Out and Testing All Our Other Crap in Advanced PE. All Together My Bench, Clean, and Squat Maxes Went Up 65 Pounds Since the Beginning of the Year. I Was Happy with That Until I Noticed Taylor Bench Max Alone Basically Did That. Plus I Jump 2 Inches Higher and 4 Inches Farther. Strangely- Reach Dropped. Anyway, Here’s What All of that Means to You- Aaron Gillespie is a Complete and Utter Douche.

> We Beat Lyndon. According to Dad, Somebody From There was Asking about Me at Wolf Creek. That Made Me Feel Purdy Good. How Does Somebody Score 8 Points in the First 3 Minutes and End with Only 14 for the Night?

> Here’s What I’ve REALLY Been Wanting to Get Too- IT’S CHRISTMAS BREAK TIME HONKEYS. Here’s What this Means to Me, NO Basketball for a WEEK. After Today’s Practice Here in an Hour, I Don’t Have to Play, Shoot, Look at, or Even Think about that Round Demon for an Entire Week. I’m going to Take Advantage of this By Spending as Much Time as Humanly Possible Doing Fun Stuff with My Friends- I’m Also Looking at Maybe Going on Some Double Dates? Josh Weltha? Come on Buddy You Know You Want To. Really I’m Just Looking for Any Excuse to Go Out with Christine. The Festivities Will Start Today Sometime Around 4ish. Christine and I are Going to Emporia to Finish Up My Christmas Shopping (gotta get Daddy his stuff) and Feast on the Beauty of a Taco Bell Extra Value Meal. So Yeah, I’m Pretty Excited for Tonight, and the Rest of the Break.

> I Want My Damn ACT Scores Back. I Still Have to Wait 2-4 Weeks I Believe Before I Can Rightfully Expect Them.

> I Think I’m Going to Upload My “How to Piss Off Your Girlfriend” Video to Youtube: But Not Before I Mention Andy Samberg and the Dude’s Latest SNL Digital Short That you Should Watch. D*ck in a Box.

Top 5: Reasons to Look Forward to Christmas

5. Giving, and the Spirit of Christmas
4. Getting, and the Commercial Spirit of Christmas

3. Sitting, and Not Doing Basketball
2. Getting Out, and Not Sitting
1. It’s Leading into the Year of My Graduation

Quotes:

” I Can’t Even See You Behind All that D*ck Sucking “
- Josh Weltha -

” #24, A High School Nerd, is That Your Identity? “
- Dad, to Me, While I was Playing the Helicopter Game, After Watching “Identity,” it was about the Funniest Thing Ever When He Said It…. -