Aaron Gillespie

Motto: Got a Dirty Mouth?

 >  My Psychology Teacher Today Told Me that 70% of Cases of Obesity are Genetic, and the Other 30% are Due to Slothfulness and General Gluttony. Which I Find Strange, Because it Always Seems Like You See Large People with Some sort of Food in Hand.  Or Maybe You Just Remember it Better. Either Way, My Eyes Were Completely Opened. Also He Mentioned that Crash Dieting Causes You to Start Gaining More and More Weight After You Cease the Diet. Just Some Freaking Knowledge for You There.

 > One Other Thing I Learned in College Today, it Came from the Realm of Calculus. If you Have a Function Y= F(x) Defined as . Then When you Solve x = 2X-X^2+(X/2)  Christine You Get: Extraordinarily(Sweet + Beautiful) + (You can have her)/(my Dead Body). In Other Words… Extraordinarily Sweet Plus Extraordinarily Beautiful Plus “You can Have Her” Over “My Dead Body.” Consider that a Shout-Out to My Scrumptious. Yeah, That’s What I Call Her. So What, Wanna Fight About It?

 > Nick Cut Himself on our White Board… Twice. I Didn’t Even Think it Was Physically Possible. I Guess I Never Really Looked at the Whiteboard as Being a Hazardous Object in the Room. Nick Now has a Phobia of Everything White. (or maybe just reaching for his keys in a careless manner)

 > Serj Tankian, Former System of a Down Front man, is Coming Out with a Solo Album on the 23^rd. This is Due to System of a Down’s Demise. His Single “Empty Walls” is Already on YouTube. Enjoy… After Listening to it, I Feel Like My Life was Changed. I know that’s Like, Sappy Cliché and All Around Lame, but I really Did Feel Changed. I Thought, Maybe I Should do more with My Life than just Focusing on Having a Good Time. Should I Be More than I Am? Should I Do Something Great? Should I Solve Problems Yet Unsolved by Man? Should I Stop Pondering About my Life on the Column and Just Go Back to Writing Stupid Random Thoughts Like I Used to Do?

 > Whoever Determined North to be “Up” Anyway? That Guy has a Big Head Now. The Guy Who Invented the Compass Needs to be Knocked Down a Few Pegs in My Eyes.

 > One Note about Serj… His MySpace Picture Seemed to Remind Me of Another MySpace Picture I’ve Seen Before… You be the Judge. : Note: I would Have Just Posted the Picture Instead of the Page, but You Can’t Just Get the Link to the Picture. Because MySpace, as I’ve Mentioned in the Past, is GAY GAY GAY.

 > I Found Out Something at My Advising Appointment Yesterday. This Semesters Calculus Class, is the LAST time I’ll Ever have to Learn About Math. I Mean, Unless I Really Feel the Need to Learn about the Really Obscure and Useless Things in Calc Two. I Can Do Derivatives Somewhat Proficiently, I Think That’s More than 80% of Americans can Say.

 > I Guess This Update is Pretty Long. I’ll Stop It Here. Right Now. With this Sentence. It will be Stopped. Just You Wait and See. This will be the Last Sentence in the Update. There Will be No More for this Somewhat Lengthy Update. Hey, a Squirrel!

Numbers: (Timespan Edition) 

6 days, 2 hours, 28 minutes, and 14 seconds – the Time remaining Until Serj’s new Album Comes Out (from the moment I looked right before I began typing this sentence) 

10 Months 5 Days – Christine and I have been Writing Our Names in the Stars  

19 Years 2 Months 15 Days – Span of Time I’ve Been Trying to Find My Place on the Earth 

3 ½ Years – I Walk Down the Hill with a Cap and Gown 

365/2 Days – Days until I get the Chance to Live with Christine 

Quotes:

” That Molecule is a Dick “
         - Me -

” I was Going to Type the Lyrics, but I had Fun Just Typing ‘Banana’ “
         - Joe Sliter –

Motto: That’s Just a Different Life Perspective

 >  Today in Sociology I Happened to Notice that, Of the 4 Computers that I Could See People Using for Notes. Three Were On Facebook. Now THAT’S College for You.

 > I’m in the Library Right Now. The Only Homework I have is a Midterm Review that I’m Going to Work on Later Tonight. Halo 3 Can Wait. It’s Not Important.

 > Or Did He Just Say that To Make You Happy. > I’m Really Thirsty. I’m Going to Go Get a Drink. Hang On I’ll be Back in Ten Minutes.

 > I’m Back—- Not Really, I haven’t Left Yet. But I Tricked Your Ass.

 > Sometimes I Wonder if I’ve Lead Life too Conservatively. I Mean, Yeah, I Skateboarded and Stuff- that’s Almost Dangerous. I Broke My Arm in the Process. I Never Really got into Much Trouble for Anything. I Suppose that’s a Good Thing, but is it Really? Some of the Things I remember Best were the Things I got in the Most Trouble For. Like the Dumbass Video I Made in 8^th Grade (or sometime around then…) Sure it was Stupid, and Sure, I Got Grounded for Two Months… But it was Fun.

I See all these People around Me Making Seeming Stupid Decisions. “Hey Man, Lets Go Get Lit and Jump Off the Roof of My House” is a Line from the Movie Orange County. The Character Who Mentioned it was One of the Two Designated Screw Ups with No Lives, but at the End of the Movie, It’s Revealed that, Trying to Make a Life for Yourself can Often Times be Worse than Just Living the One You’ve Already Got. That’s the Moral of that Whole Movie. Although that Movie isn’t Really the Most…. Moral Based Movie Ever Made. It’s just some More Supporting Evidence that, maybe I’ve Always Been Too Uptight. The Fear of Me or My Friends Getting Hurt or Getting in Trouble has Always Been One of the Key Factors in My Actions. Maybe it Shouldn’t Be?

Either Way, I Doubt by this Point in Time I Could Even Change Anything if I Wanted To. So Don’t Worry Mom and Christine. I’m Not Going to Be Jumping Off Any Moving Vehicles in the Near Future and You Won’t Find Me Passed Out on the Toilet Either… You’ll Continue to Find Me in the State of Perpetual “I Wish Something Would Happen.” > That Topic was So Serious and Boring, that the Rest of the Entire Column will be Nothing be Fart Jokes and Crude Imagery. > Speaking of Crude Imagery. Expect a New Video this Weekend. I’ll try Not to Disappoint. (I’ve Got Too Much Going Until Thursday to Do it Before Then.

 > I Just Farted. The Words are Melting Off the Page. There’s Your Fart Joke.

 > Picture with Me if You Will, and Old Guy in the Woods Desperately Trying to Remember Where He Put his Skivvies Because There’s a Penis Attacking Bear that is Going to Eat Him if He Doesn’t Have Them On.

There’s The Crude Imagery.

Numbers:

17 – Minutes Until I Should Leave for Physics

8 – Hours of Sleep I Got Last Night

1 – Hours of Sleep it Felt Like I Got Last Night

3 – Times I’ve Went to the Gym so Far

3 – Times a WEEK I’d Like to go to the Gym

30 – Aaron’s Ping-Pong Wins for the Year

54 – Nick’s Ping-Pong Wins for the Year

Quotes:

” Eat Shoot and Die “
         - Scott Huttenmaier (from a LONG time back, I just remembered it for some reason) -

” Don’t Worry Aaron, You’ll Get Better at Life”
         - Hunter Vore -

Motto: Vault + Nutsnack + No Homework = Column Update

 >  I Realized the Other Day (Earlier Today) The Column isn’t really a Story, or even a Column in the Newspaper Sense… It’s Merely a Short Ride on the Roller Coaster that My Stream of Consciousness.

 > The Derivative of the Motto = 0. If you Didn’t Already Figure that Out… You Must Not be in My Calc Class. Speaking of Which, I Totally Aced a Quiz in that Shoot on Tuesday.

 > Speaking of That, I Just Remember I have a Practice Physics Test I’m Going to Do Before the End of the Night. I’m Going to have to Make this a Bit Shorter than I Initially Planned.

 > Also, I Totally had this Weekend Planned Out, and EVERYTHING was Awesome. It was ALL going to work out. Then Christine said “So What are You Doing for Your Saturday Class?” Absolutely DUMBFOUNDED I was for a Few Moments. Then I Went into a Swearing Spree. But I Think I Got My Shoot Straight.

 > Notice the Substitution of the Word “Shoot” in There, That Makes Things Funnier. I Realized that I Rely on Naughty Words and Possibly Offensive Words, for Example, “Retard,” or “Gay.” I’m Making a Conscious Effort to Stop That. Much Like my Effort to Stop Chewing My Fingernails (Which I did completely… for about 2 weeks, then it slowly came back.)

 > I Really Need to Film Stuff. I’m Just Not as Bored as I used to be. I Mean, I Have Friends that are Like… Living in the Same Building as Me. I Used to Film Because I Didn’t Have Anybody Around and I Had Nothing Better to Do. But Now I Do. So it’s Kinda Lame.

 > I Want to Own a Lot More Movies than I Currently Do. I Want to have a Kickass Video Library. The Kind of Library that People Look at and Think “Wow, This Guy has No Life.”

 > poiuytrewq. Did you Recognize that as the Top Row Typed Backwards? That’s Called… Psychology.

 > I just realized why I haven’t been Updating, or Videomaking. I Haven’t Fallen into my Groove Up Here. At Lebo I had a Good Grove for Everything, Facebook was on one day, the column on the Next, Videos and all that Other stuff Kinda Fell in Line. Down Here it’s Either- You have Class – or – You’re With Friends – or – You’re With your Girlfriend (who is amazing I might add.)

 > Sorry this Update Sucked a Bit. Or A Lot. Whatever. It’s Not like I’m Getting Graded for It.

 > B+

Numbers: 

7 – Knives I own at this Point in Time2 – Knives I Left at Home

Quotes:

” It’s not Like Zeus Came Down from Mt. Olympus and Took a Shit on Hollywood and Out came Film-Noir “
         - Julius, My Film TA/ Discussion Leader -

” I’m Throwing Electrons at You “
         - Nick Garrett –