Aaron Gillespie

Motto: We Put the ‘Stud’ in “Study”

> The Other Day, I Didn’t Have Any Toilet Paper, But I Did Have a Cell Phone. It was at This Point in Time that I Realized that a Cell Phone is the Most Useful Thing Anyone can Possibly Have. (The Situation was Resolved by My Dad Bringing Me Some Newspaper, then After the Confusion Lifted Some Toilet Paper)

>  Perhaps You Might have Heard. Everybody in the World was on the Edge of Their Seats as the Final Four at the SCC Regional Scholar’s Bowl Winded Down. The Most Ironic and Shitty Thing in the World Happened, But it Ended Up Not Mattering. To Make a Long Story (read the following in a high pitched manner) “WE’RE GOING TO STATE!” –Along with Madison. Josh Barker is Apparently Isn’t Cool Enough to Go to State Scholar’s Bowl. His Priorities are All Totally Whacked. Since When has “Free Ride to College” Been More Important than State Scholar’s Bowl?

> Basketball: Lose to Olpe- 2^nd in League, Beat Lawrence Vertias, Beat Centre- I Average 20 Points for the Three Games.

> So It’s Been a While, I’m Willing to Admit that I’ve Slipped a Bit Lately with My Columnistic Duties. But in All Fairness, Shut Up Because You Smell. I’ve Been Busy Lately. What with Scholar’s Bowling and Basketballing and Pool Playing and Schooling, I Haven’t had Time to Do This.

> It’s Finally the Weekend. I’m Excited. How about You?

> Today I’m going to Emporia with The Steen and We are Going to Beef Up the “Oh Shit Kit.” I’ll be Making at Least 14 Additions and One Major Change to It. I’m Looking to Find Some sort of Tool Box so I Won’t Have to Dig Through that Damn Backpack Every Time I Need Something.

> I Have a Regional Scholar’s Bowl Pencil Here for Sale. $10 Only Been Used to WIN DAMNED REGIONALS.

Top 5: New Additions to the Oh Shit Kit

5. Zip Ties
4. Vice Grips

3. Hatchet
2. Kool-Aid Singles

1. Holy Hand Grenade

Quotes:

” Priscilla was Laughing at You “
- Tyler Linden, to Chris Bray -

” Oh He is Dead “
- Chris Bray, in Return -

” I’m Gunna Have Your Nuts in a Sack “
- Kevin Allegre, for Some Reason -

” I’m Gunna Squeeze Your Nuts into a Singular Nut “
- Kevin Allegre, a Little bit Later -

” If I Put Any More Sarcasm on That I Would Have Drowned “
- Josh Weltha –

 

” He’s Going to Move His Office to His Freezer “
- Tyler Donoho, About “Sweaty Jay” -

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 3rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm and is filed under columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.