Aaron Gillespie

Column in T minus 10. 9. 8…

 

So I wrote an 8 page paper about Hugh Hefner and Playboy Magazine last night. During my conquest of intelligent pornographic scholarly writing I grabbed an energy drink to help keep me focused (a pretty usual routine when it comes to large study sessions). The problem was I drank it at 11:30 at night. I finished my paper by 2:30. I finally fell asleep at 6:25. What I did in that 3 hour 55 minute gap was the inspiration for today’s column.

 

I went back and looked at my xanga column. The column was different back then. It had ADD. It was fun. It was relatively short. It didn’t go too deep or take itself too seriously. I miss those days.

 

An oldie, but a goodie… you get what you pay for.

 

KU played ESU last night in men’s basketball. I didn’t go; but from what I hear, it was a sodomy fest.

 

If I haven’t made this official yet- the University Daily Kansan T-shirt selection committee can bite me. They suck. My ideas rocked.

 

Using Josh Weltha’s help, and Adobe Photoshop (which I don’t yet have) I want to recreate This Picture.

 

Hugh Hefner has led a very interesting life. I suggest reading about him sometime when you get bored.

 

On second thought- Maybe mine will say “Cocknballs” Instead of “Rocknrolla”.

 

I Decided I want to Continue on with the Traditions of the Past… Including the Annual Scavenger Hunt. The Fourth Annual Scavenger Hunt will Take Place this Spring. It will Consist of 50 Goals and be Held in Lawrence. The Supermodel Brigade will Dominate as Usual. I look Forward as Always to Hunting the Scaveges that are Native Around Here in this Scavenger Hunt. May We Eradicate their Filthy Race. I need to Start Thinking of Goals.

 

Also I want to start Updating More Often. Less Long. More Often. Not My Approach in Bed but I’ll try it on the Column.

 

They say the Eskimos have over one-hundred words for “Snow”… I wonder how many ways there are to say “I’m Hungry” in Amharic. (Amharic is the official language of Ethiopia.)

 

Top 5: Traditions of the Column that are Long Gone

 

5. Clever “Quotes” Section Names…

 

4. The “Motto” at the Begging of Each Update

 

 

3. The Numbers Section

 

2. The Fact of the Update: at the Begging of Each Non-Motto Filled Update

 

1. Top 5’s that were Meant as Jokes.

Free-for-All: (the University Daily Kansan has a section called the “Free-for-All” that anybody can write in, here are a few of my favorite entries today)

“ My favorite swear word is goshbedarnit "
         - FFA –

 

 “ To the car that had the bumper sticker saying ‘UFOs are real, the Air Force doesn’t exist,’ I’m lacing your car and an A-10 is coming to bring the rain. "
         - FFA –

 

“ I love clean poops "
         - FFA –

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 at 6:48 pm and is filed under columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.