Aaron Gillespie

Column is…. GO:

 

While it is fresh in my mind… I watched “American Psycho” last night. It was one of those movies that I instantly got into. My mind was trying to figure out all the craziness. I was trying to understand what was going on the whole time. Then the movie ended… I have no idea what the hell it was about. It was funny. It was scary. Most of all, it was strange. If you want to see something that will make you go “what the f***” I suggest watching American Psycho.

 

I think things are getting better. I think everything is going to be okay. I could write pages upon pages about my situation. My thoughts. I think I’m going to stop talking about them so much. I hate the fact that I tell everybody I know everything I think. Where’s the mystery? Where’s the charm? I need an inner circle of friends that I can talk to about anything and everything… but I’m tired of people I barely know knowing me.

 

Jon and I haven’t decided on a name for a website… We might be stuck like that forever. Nothing awesome has jumped up and smacked us in the face. Maybe we should just go with “jonandaaronsblogaboutcoolshit.com” Possibly “killerducky.com” I don’t really know.

 

Here’s the big important news: this will be my last update out of Lebo. I’m headed to Lawrence in 2 days. I get to move in before everybody else because I’m part of a special program which helps “orient people in the hysteria of move-in day.” Quite frankly, I’m most excited to just get moved in. I am excited to see how my room will be laid out. I’m excited to see where I’ll be living this year. The thing I’m most excited of all for is seeing who I’m living with this year. I don’t have a roommate because I want to be able to have anybody over at any time and not have to worry about shit.

 

Okay usually I throw some falsely important philosophical mumbo-jumbo in my updates… so I guess I should do that now-

 

I’ve started to take better care of myself. I have been breaking sweats everyday; be it through skateboarding or some other form of exercise… I’ve been doing it. Successfully. I like it. I bought a nice water bottle a week ago and I have been drinking water exclusively for the past week. I feel better. It feels good to take care of yourself. I suggest you trying it. Unless you are Jon or Josh Weltha… you two can stop.

 

Now on to a top 5 that is completely unrelated to anything I’ve just written about. (Parental Advisory Warning: This top five does contain the word “sex,” so if you are uncomfortable with the coming together of two people in the most sacred of ways- if the idea of two people doing something that is completely natural to all breeding creatures and has been for some reason become more of a touchy subject to Americans than murder, violence, theft, and disloyalty than please skip this top five and read my quote. It’s for you)

 

Top 5: Secrets I’ve uncovered about Cosmo magazine

 

5. Some form of the word “Sex” (sex, sexy, sexier, sexiest) is on the cover at a MINIMUM of 3 times for every issue.

 

4. There is always some form of  “lose 20 pounds by semester” type article with a bogus-ass idea for weight loss such as “Try standing on the subway instead of sitting.”

 

 

3. The sex tips that I’ve read in there are either really obvious, or completely ridiculous. If any girl ever actually tried to pull off half of that stupid stuff, I’m sure their guy would laugh hysterically. The rest of it is common sense.

 

2. The sections and tidbits they have in there to be funny are not funny more than 95% of the time. I’ve read funnier stuff in the bathroom stalls at the high school.

 

1. No article they’ve ever written has ever really had any profound meaning. (just like this top 5)

Quotes:

“Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. "
         - Butch Hancock -

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 at 6:03 pm and is filed under columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.